


i think i saw the world turn in your eyes

by on_your_left



Category: Succession (TV 2018)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23583538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/on_your_left/pseuds/on_your_left
Summary: Tom's not sure whether it’s the alcohol or the stress of the evening, but he can’t stop thinking about Greg.(Set during season 2 episode 3 after they play Boar on the Floor)
Relationships: Greg Hirsch & Tom Wambsgans, Greg Hirsch/Tom Wambsgans, Siobhan "Shiv" Roy/Tom Wambsgans
Comments: 5
Kudos: 71





	i think i saw the world turn in your eyes

Tom realises how drunk he is as soon as he stands up. He can barely even walk in a straight line as he attempts to make it back to his room; he knows he’ll regret drinking this much tomorrow, but at least it’ll blur his memories of the evening of ridicule with Logan. Every cloud has a silver lining, he supposes.

He’s not sure whether it’s the alcohol or the stress of the evening, but he can’t stop thinking about Greg. 

Craves him.

His brain feels like it’s been put into a blender and churned up at full power. A brain smoothie made from humiliation, stress, whiskey, vodka and a pinch of Greg.

Tom feels his stomach turn at the gruesome thought and he pushes the idea out of his mind.

He finally makes it back to his room, and just about manages to swipe his keycard and let himself in. Shiv has gone AWOL, as usual. Usually Tom doesn’t care when she’s not around, but tonight he could really do with a distraction from his thoughts. 

Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Greg. The intensity of his feelings surprises Tom; he’s become so accustomed to his lukewarm, loveless marriage to Shiv that he barely remembers what real desire feels like. He’s not even sure if Greg would go for it. He definitely _seems _like he would, but then again, Tom is his boss and Greg is notoriously spineless.__

____

____

He muses over the weird, unexpected emotional bond that formed between them a while back: the drunken nights; the expensive dinners ( _‘Are you trying to seduce me, Tom?’ _); the sense of vulnerability and openness Tom hadn’t felt for years until he met Greg. Greg Hirsch, his wife’s cousin. Of course he had to fall for someone that close to the family. Of fucking course.__

____

____

All of a sudden, he feels overwhelmingly alone.

Tom pours himself another drink (his last one, he promises himself weakly) and sits down on the edge of his bed. He wonders what would happen if he marched down the hallway right this second - not that ‘marching’ was something he was capable of right now - to Greg’s room, banged on his door until he opened it, and told him how he felt. He almost laughs out loud at himself, realising how pathetic these teenage-girl romcom daydreams are. 

_Get it together, Wambsgans. ___

____

____

He gulps down the remainder of his drink, and decides he’s drunk enough to actually go to Greg’s room and blame it on the alcohol if things get messy. The hallway is eerily quiet compared to the events that transpired earlier in the evening. 

Tom has almost forgotten how to walk as he forces himself to place one shaky foot in front of the other until he reaches Greg’s door. His heart is about to beat out of his chest and he suddenly realises how wrong this is, how incredibly fucking stupid he is. But he knocks anyway, fuelled by a dangerous concoction of adrenaline and alcohol. He knows shouldn’t have had that last drink. Three soft taps at the door, followed by Greg’s confused voice asking who it is.

“It’s Tom,” he whispers loudly, hoping Greg can hear him but praying silently that the rest of the family are heavily asleep.

“Tom? Uh, yeah, give me a sec,” he replies. Tom can hear him shuffling around in the room, then the door opens with a click revealing Greg’s face, plastered with confusion and tiredness. “Are you okay? What’s up? It’s, like, 4am.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I just… needed someone to talk to,” Tom mutters, not wanting to meet Greg’s eyes, knowing exactly what kind of sympathetic, concerned face he’d be pulling.

“Sure, man, come in.”

The two men sit side by side on Greg’s bed, close enough that Tom can feel the heat radiating from his body. Close enough that he can see the gentle rise and fall of his chest, but not close enough to actually touch him. Tom has been through this scenario millions of times in his head, but now that it’s actually happening, his mind is filled with complete nothingness. Empty.

Another few moments pass before Greg decides to break the silence, asking Tom if he’s okay. They both know he’s far from okay, but Tom doesn’t know how to answer the question. _No, Greg, I’m not okay. I’m married to a woman who doesn’t love me. We’re in an open relationship which I pretended to be okay with because all I wanted was to make her happy but now I just feel completely fucking empty all the time. I have so much love to give, and I want to give some of that to you, but I can’t tell you that because you’re my wife’s cousin. ___

____

____

“I’m okay, Greg. Really. I just… I don’t know where Shiv is, and I felt a bit lonely. That’s all. I’m just drunk.” Tom hears the insincerity in his own voice, and hopes Greg somehow doesn’t pick up on it. The chances of that seem slim, knowing Greg. That amuses Tom for a moment.

“So you came to see me?” Greg grins at him, a small, insignificant gesture that makes Tom almost fall to pieces right there. _Of course I came to see you, Greg. You’re the only one who makes me feel like myself in a world filled to the brim with bullshit and lies and fake people. ___

____

____

“Yeah, I guess that you just…” Tom trails off, knowing exactly how he desperately wants to finish the sentence but terrified to say it out loud.

“I just what?” Greg’s voice is tinged with desperation.

Tom sighs. He’s come all this way, so he might as well leave knowing he’s been honest.

“You just make me feel safe, Greg.”

“I make you feel safe?” He sounds genuinely surprised. Confused, even. The naivety and total obliviousness of this man never fail to shock Tom.

“Don’t make me regret telling you that, okay?”

“I’m happy to hear that, but I just, like, didn’t expect it. I honestly didn’t even know how much you liked me if I’m honest. You blow so hot and cold with me sometimes and I never know what to think. No offence.” Greg runs an unsteady hand through his dark hair, looking uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“I’m gonna go.” 

Tom tries to stand up but feels a firm hand on his thigh that forces him back down. Probably for the best, anyway, as that final drink has really ruined his capacity to move like a functioning human being and he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Greg any more than he already has.

“You make me feel safe, too,” Greg finally admits after what feels like hours of complete silence.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Tom asks quietly, surprising even himself with the shyness that's crept its way into his voice. He feels so vulnerable, usually something he hates, but with Greg it’s different. With Greg everything is okay.

“Of course.”


End file.
